What I Believe

I encountered a very meaningful verse in Holy Quran the other day;

Indeed, Allah does not do injustice, [even] as much as an atom's weight; while if there is a good deed, He multiplies it and gives from Himself a great reward.

Malay translation:

Sesungguhnya Allah tidak sekali-kali menganiaya (seseorang) sekalipun seberat zarah (debu). Dan kalaulah (amal yang seberat zarrah) itu amal kebajikan, nescaya akan menggandakannya dan akan memberi, dari sisiNya, pahala yang amat besar.

There were times where I was drowning in problems.One after another. My life was like a periodical wave, ups and downs,consistently changing with each other. I was trying to amend things by my own, only to know that those efforts were just approaching the other end. I was left bemused, frustrated and confused. Even I whined to Allah, why could this happened to me? Alhamdulillah, somehow He shows how 'musibah' can turn into blessings in disguise. Now I can see clearly the sins that I've committed that contribute to my own downfall.

I was just like a 'munafiq' by being contrary from what I say and write. First of all, munafiq is not like what we had learned in high schools where the term is associated with those people who pretending to be a Muslim. The scope of munafiq is very huge. I would say everyday we can fall into this category. Back to the story, I was just like an ordinary guy, just promoting Islamic thingy but didn't fully practicing what I've learned. Especially on social networking sites. Now I can view myself as a confused person. You said that you are joining usrah but still acting like an ignorant? React with emotion, not with rational thinking and absolute patience. Commenting and liking statuses here and there gleefully without thinking the consequences after that. Inviting fitnah. Reluctantly listen to what the people say just because you are trying to be yourself? Seek attention? I should have asked myself frequently 'you said you love Allah but are all these activities really show what you believe and learn?  I was blind because I was too carried away with heart matters. I thought all efforts were worth but they only made things worsen from day to day. 'Menegakkan benang yang basah'. Wrong is wrong in Islam,even you try to make it legit from many angles. So in the end it would collapse since only al haq (the truth in the path of Allah) will remain.

My focus was directed to this one path. Love. Sacrificial love. (konon.geli la pulak.haha). There are lots of thing to be read or to be acquired. Mentaliti nikah?patutnya mentaliti nak cari dan beri nafkah. One more thing. I feel bad for my usrah group.  Sorry bros. Hopefully, this moment could be the turning point. I should be stronger. Things that irritate my eyes and heart should be handled wisely.

Biarlah Allah yang menentukan. Hanya Dia yang tahu segala isi hati. Semoga Allah terus memberi taufiq dan hidayah kepada kita,untuk memimpin hidup kita menjadi seorang yang benar Islamnya. Biarlah selepas ini dengan cara yang baik dan terpuji. Mungkin juga Dia ingin menguji keikhlasan kita dan memberi pengalaman yang berguna utk masa akan datang. :)